Finding Forgiveness…
In a talk given in the Spring of 1995 General Conference, Elder Richard G. Scott said, “The Redeemer can settle your individual account with justice and grant forgiveness through the merciful path of repentance. Full repentance is absolutely essential for the Atonement to work its complete miracle in your life. By understanding the Atonement, you will see that God is not a jealous being who delights in persecuting those who misstep. He is an absolutely perfect, compassionate, understanding, patient, and forgiving Father. He is willing to entreat, counsel, strengthen, lift and fortify.”
Following are the 12 steps of the addiction recovery program as sponsored by LDS Family Services. Although intended for more serious sins, it is a detailed guideline of how we can find forgiveness.
1. Honesty: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. Most of us don’t have addictions that take away our free agency, but we all have weaknesses and flaws. Some we try as hard as we can to overcome, others we hold close to ourselves, unwilling to let them go. President Kimball said, “We must confess and admit our sins to ourselves and then seriously begin the process of repentance.”
2. Hope: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. In Ether 12:27, the Lord told Moroni, “…if men humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” Through God, and only through Him, can we overcome our struggles. But we must have hope that the Atonement is real and that it really applies to each one of us, that our Savior willingly suffered and died for every individual and because of that, we can be made whole again. His suffering was not only for our sins, but also all pain, disease and suffering in the world. Although these are not sins that require repentance, through our hope and faith in Jesus Christ, we can overcome all things, including depression, mental illness, pain and suffering and sorrow due to the choices of others.
3. Trust in God: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I think this is the hardest step. The world today cannot understand trusting in something unseen. Taking the first step forward and admitting that our Father in Heaven knows us and what is best for us, even more than we know ourselves, is very difficult. It may help to look to past experiences when we can easily see that our Father had a path for us that was much better than the one we would have chosen for ourselves. President Uchtdorf said, “Regardlesss of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us.”
4. Truth: Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. I think we all know better than anyone else what our mistakes and flaws are. If we are unsure, we can ask our Heavenly Father, “who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not.”
5. Confession: Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs. Heavenly Father already knows what is in our minds and in our hearts. The purpose of prayer must then be for us, not Him. To freely admit, sometimes out loud, what we have done wrong, without excuses or rationalizations, will help us feel the godly sorrow that we must feel to truly repent. Godly sorrow is not the disappointment of being found out or the fear of facing the consequences of our actions. Godly sorrow is when we realize that what we have done has been wrong and has caused us to be separated from our loving Father in Heaven who cannot “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.”
6. Change of Heart: Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses. The people of King Benjamin described this change of heart in Mosiah 5:2. They told their King that through “the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.” Somehow, through the assistance of the Holy Ghost, our hearts will truly change and we will want to only do that which is right in the sight of God.
7. Humility: Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings. We cannot overcome on our own and we must realize that. We must humble ourselves and ask for his help.
8. Seeking Forgiveness: Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them. Included in that list should be ourselves. Too many of us hold onto guilt from the past and it prevents us from our ability to move forward and to feel the Spirit. We are only holding ourselves back. Our Father is waiting to send blessings to us, but he can only knock. We must be the ones to open the door. To do that, we must repent of what has happened in the past and then look toward a new beginning.
9. Restitution and Reconciliation: Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed. Apologize. In this day and age it is very easy to send an email or to write a note. Be sincere. It takes courage to admit that you are wrong and an apology will go a very long way.
10. Daily Accountability: Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it. But don’t let that cause you to falter. When we make mistakes during the day and feelings of worthlessness start to creep in, reinforce those feelings of worth and love by remembering, “Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to grow. I am still learning and next time I will do better.”
11. Personal Revelation: Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out. Only when we know we are truly following the plan set forth for us by our Father in Heaven can we then feel that “peace that passeth understanding.” When we know that our desires and actions are aligned with His, we can walk forward with strength and confidence, without fear and faltering.
12. Service: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do. Of course, as we experience the peace and joy that comes with accepting the Atonement into our lives, we will feel the pure love of Christ and desire to share it with all those around us. I believe that if we stumble on any of the previous steps, service, even if unwilling at first, will help us to forget ourselves, feel the Holy Ghost and love for others and will sustain us until we are willing or able to move forward.
Elder Scott adds, “Of all the necessary steps to repentance, I testify that the most critically important is for you to have a conviction that forgiveness comes because of the Redeemer…Alma declared: “I was…in the most bitter pain and anguish of soul; and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins. But…I did cry unto him and I did find peace to my soul.””
